On Confused People

Okay so this is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Maybe it's mean but it just makes me giggle seeing confused people.

But looook it's actually adorable how adorable they are:

We weren't directly influenced by British neo-Nazis because we realize that the extremists in the UK don't like Asian people. We just took the slogan "blood and honor" to demonstrate our identity.

We just took the slogan "blood and honor" to demonstrate our identity.

Sorry what.

Okay see so coexistence is a big question right. It separates identity from harmony, unfortunately distancing tradition and people-getting-along. In the modern world, especially one dominated by the contemporary western conception of progress, one tends to forget about tradition and identity. Which sounds funny and ironic, but is perhaps more of a generalisation than a stretch of truth.

The question is where should we draw the line? Where's the compromise? Where's the sacrifice?

And in the end if it even benefits us.

How To Tie A Noose

Okay because I'm telling you all about my life I'm going to include how-tos because I'm cool.
Today, I'll be teaching you how to make a noose woot

This is what it's meant to look like.

Okay so what you do is get a piece of rope about x3 the length of your forearm - I'm taking liberties and tying it with hemp string, in a much smaller scale, as that's all I have on me (don't ask) and fold it in half, like this:

Then you fold one side over about 2/3 of its length like this:

Take the long end and wrap it around the other end of the string (fold the end in the coil though, as it might fray) sort of like this:

Continueeeeeeee and then when you get to the end thread the end through the little loop:

And there you have it - the finished product 

Lookkkkk me chillin with mah noose :3

My outfit:

Cherry coke t-shirt - Tar-jay 

Black skirt - H&M

Steel blue scarf - Max&Co

Cheap tights - some cheap store somewhere

I think I'm getting quite good at this outfit thing.

Oh wait are you meant to be able to see it oops well oops.

Also please don't judge it's packing week I'm a hobo don't have any clothes.

Sillyness

Okay so apparently people are meant to blog about their lives and clothes and stuff are and I should do that or something. 

Turns out people don't like to listen to angst because that's boring. 

Okay well. Um.

20 days till Christmas woot

Today I opened the fifth door on my advent calendar and found a chocolate inside wooot and ^ that's what it looked like.

Well, that's what it was so um yeh.

My outfit: 

Striped shirt - school shop

Dark blue jumper - school shop

Black blazer - H&M

Black brogues - Office 

Fascinating!

Now bye lovelies I'll try to post more about my life and clothes and makeup or lack thereof soon.

On Life

I want to talk.

I want to talk about the world, about you and me and we are free and we can do whatever we like; and whatever we want, and nothing else matters.

And perhaps that’s true.

The world is a curious construct: the ethical world, like any other, is a single one-dimensional scale is a constant struggle between your self on one end and what you perceive to be everything else on the other. With this then comes everything else. 

But it’s not really like that, is it, you ask. It’s identity versus society, it’s personality versus responsibility...the list goes on.

Well, I suppose none of that was wrong. 

But look again, and you’ll see that it’s transformed, and the question now is not whether you care about you more than you care about everything else. It is clear now that you are the center of this world and it’s a matter off which benefits you more.

We are selfish people.

We do not help others if we do not gain from it.

It’s not just a matter of physical and material gain. We’re talking ideology and satisfaction and egos here.

It’s all up to priorities, I suppose. Is personal philosophical satisfaction worth just this little bit of pain or money or time?

But when you’re lost, you don’t have a response to that. 

But perhaps, circularly, having a clear idea in your head your priorities is what gives you identity?

So I don’t know who I am, and I hope you do.

Do you, do you?

I want someone to tell me who I am.

No. Perhaps, I don’t just want to talk: 

I want to be heard.

Would you listen to me?

On Horse Meat

Okay so I'm majorly freaking out about life what is life even what am I doing who am I aahhhhhhhh

Okay wait. Let's try that again.

I'm scared.

I'm scared. Yesterday someone at school had an interview at UCL.

Ummm obviously not me so.

Yeah you see where I'm trying to go with this? 

Haven't heard back from them aaahhhhhhhhh what is life.

Okay so maybe I'm overreacting slightly. It's still quite early, I suppose. But. You know. For all I know, they could have seen my application and chucked it in the maybe pile. 

I don't want to be in the maybe pile.

(I want to be in the yes definitely we want you now pile, in case anyone asks)

And what am I even applying for why am I applying for it.

Unis don't want me I'm a fraud I'm stupid I'm just pretending to be clever I'm not clever I can't brain :(

speech not making sense arrrghh garhhhh what is life.

Here's some horse.

A Little Bit of Everything

I’m in a squircle [1] mood today. Let’s talk about sexism, let’s talk about feminism. Let’s talk about all the -isms in the world.

So, where do we start? I’m not quite sure, but here’s one thing we need to know, first of all: I absolutely hate hatred of things. 

It sounds a little ironic, and hypocrisy creeps in, but it’s not really. Let me explain by saying that they’re all on a different level. No, I’m not saying that I’m superior (which would bring us back to hypocrisy); rather, it’s this ‘hatred’ or ‘dislike’ that’s different from each other. 

Guys, I genuinely can’t stand pompous assumptions and declarations without explanation and discrimination and dislike and I’ll take the opposite stance in any attempt at argument and it all just annoys me.

I’m into grey and ambiguity and uncertainty and acceptance of everything (except, you know, hatred, even though I really do try to go with that- Brain: allow it; Other parts of brain: how about no) so I suppose I should understand that controversy and annoyingness has to exist.

But really, I’m one of you too, so I can’t help it, man.

I want to talk about slavery in ancient Greece. I was talking to someone about this a while ago, and it’s been on my mind ever since. I think the precise wording my friend used (either about Aristotle or Athens in general (probably the former)) was ‘they had quite intelligent policies...such a pity they believed in slavery’. Okay I made that up almost completely but the general sense was the same. My response at the time was ‘that’s not fair’ because I was so completely caught up in the unfairness of the situation but today I’m detached (relatively) and I can say my piece (without my friend agreeing and rolling his eyes because he knows this and thinks it doesn’t require saying). 

Perhaps some might say it was a pity Virgil didn’t come up with Harry Potter (debatable; the Aeneid is better written), perhaps we could say too bad the Akkadians didn’t know Chinese. It’s like Shakespeare writing about alarm clocks (my previous two examples were better) - I emphasise that it isn’t fair to harp on the ancient Greeks about their helots because it’s just anachronistic and hence extremely unreasonable.

I don’t know if anybody feels the same, but I get extremely irritated when people complain about their parents being conservative and being narrow-minded and stuck in the past. I hate the dismissal that they are ‘backward’ and hence less intelligent or less worth talking to. 

It’s about being brought up with a different set of ideals. I know many people would laugh at this and say well of course, but it’s not as simple as it sounds. Now, I’m not trying to encourage or endorse anything, but stereotypes and prejudice exist for a reason. It may be for as simple a reason as a defense or coping mechanism, such that your brain associates all Mikes you know with bad breath, simply because you know someone named Mike with bad breath. It need not even be malicious. Which is why when I went to Morocco and was addressed by ‘Jackie Chan’ and or ‘Konichiwa’ I really didn’t mind at all (it was really quite endearing).  Obviously the difference with most cases of discrimination is that this arises from an attempt to appeal to me but I’d just like you to have a think and perhaps open your mind up to discrimination. I mean, you want them to be less ‘narrow-minded’ as you call it, but yet you can’t accept that discrimination is a natural fact of life. Granted sometimes (read: most of the time) the means of discrimination isn’t the best (read: in any way positive) but it’s like the Odyssey, right: is the only reason Odysseus is the hero and not Polyphemus the simple fact that Polyphemus didn’t offer Odysseus and his men food before asking him whence he came (simple code of xenia, in which - oh wait, Polyphemus doesn’t even believe)? [2] So yeah, if it’s on the same level and doesn’t involve other things, we shouldn’t really judge judgement. [3]

I want to talk about feminism. We all gotta admit today that sometimes people go overboard. When I say that, I mean to the extent that feminism isn’t feminism anymore but discrimination. 

See here: feminism isn’t the opposite of sexism. It’s really just the advocacy of equal rights. And what are rights? Choices and equal opportunities. That is to say that women should be given fair chance if competing for something, not that we should set a percentage or amount of space for women themselves. I mean, fair enough, sometimes this is the only way they get a chance to do anything, because some men cannot speak for all men (and I mean this strictly in the sense of ‘man’ as in ‘human’ and not ‘man vs woman’) and prejudices really do exist (again, not necessarily in a negative sense - perhaps a particular job requires a particular set of skills that men tend to have, and vice versa) so really, thinking about it gets us nowhere. But what really annoys me is feminists who take the choice out of ‘feminism’. It’s like the question of tradition vs. new cool ideas booyeah. Apparently a few years back a few Christians were kicked out of Morocco for attempting to evangelise their people. I mean, it’s not about the religions at this stage, right? Yes, people can want freedom to believe what they want to, and maybe that’s the idea behind the whole thing. And perhaps the biggest criticism of this ordeal is that it’s stupid or silly. But see here - if people are happy with what they do or have, convincing them it’s not enough is a bad thing and you’re just deliberately antagonising people. So back to the feminism - some people would shake their head and criticise households in which women are homemakers, but it would just be prudent to consider the fact that perhaps it was their own choice. It’s why Hermione always really annoyed me with SPEW, man.

Okay I’m out of things to say for the day.

1. ‘squircle’ - pernickety
2. Long story short, Odysseus and men broke into Polyphemus’ cave. Polyphemus wasn’t there. Odysseus (and men) ate his food. Men planned to steal some and leave, but Odysseus wanted Polyphemus to give more, so he stayed and lay in wait for Polyphemus. Polyphemus found out, wasn’t happy. Asked Odysseus the provocative question: ‘Strangers, who are you? What land did you sail from, over the watery paths? Are you bound on some trading errand, or are you random adventurers, roving the seas as pirates do, hazarding life and limb and bringing havoc on men of another stock?’ Because, of course, they had a different set of moral ideals. Polyphemus found piracy distasteful; Odysseus and men simply believed that sacking cities was alright and okay (hence Ilium, although one could argue that they were just rescuing Argive Helen) But then again, in Book 2 of the Iliad Nestor (who fought with Odysseus at Troy!!!!!) asked Telemachus (son of Odysseus) the same question, so idek man. I guess the difference is that Polyphemus ate Odysseus’ men, and no matter what he believed in, man-eating just isn’t right ya know. (Odysseus did get punished for what he did to Polyphemus (oddly enough, not the plundering and food-stealing) so I guess you could argue that the Greek myths are in a strange sense quite rounded in terms of their morality (like the Oresteia)
3. Although I'm really really not endorsing discrimination. I don't like discrimination, remember? And people really should try not to hurt or insult anyone. But while I think that one party shouldn't be antagonising others, the other party should also try to uh...well let's suggest a double retreat?

And If You're Still Breathing

In Book VI of the Iliad, Glaukon says to Diomedes, ‘As is the generation of leaves, so is that of humanity. The wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the live timber burgeons with leaves again in the season of spring returning. So one generation of men will grow while another dies.’

Now is the season of dying men in this part of the world that knows no summer.

I’m discontent. I’m jumpy. And I get palpitations just thinking of what is yet to come. 

And I shiver at the approaching cold.

Maybe it’s just the time of year, but I’m personally feeling quite down. School starts up again in a week, and it’s not that I don’t like it. But I’m bad with change and I like what I have, right now, en ce moment, and I’m not at school now.

And I don’t want anything to change, so I don’t want school to come please thanks.

I feel like I haven’t done anything all summer for it to be gone already. 

Scratch that - I feel like I haven’t done anything at all this year for it to have just disappeared with the snap of my fingers.

But yet-

A year ago, I wouldn’t have done half the things I’m doing now.

Clichéd as it sounds, I am a different person today. 

What have I done to incite such a change?

Nothing.

Nothing. And everything.

I still want to do so many things, and to be so many different people, but our time is limited. 

We, man, like to think that we owe ourselves choice, and that our lives are blank slates to be painted on, and that we’ll always do what’s best for us. 

But Brute, thy honourable mettle might yet be wrought, and even in the land of mortals we have no say in what the Moirai deal us.

And oh my, they have thrown me quite a number of curveballs recently. I mean, I’m not very pleased with them at all, so let’s change the metaphor and say that believe me, the Moirai have upped their game and chucked a few footballs at me.

I’m in the wrong place, wrong time, and I don’t know how to play this new game.

I might be exaggerating.

I’d like to think I’m alright, and that I did okay for a novice.

But not knowing beforehand is never an excuse is it. It’s less about having a plan and more about trudging through our strings as we’re forced along it and just trying not to reach the end and fall off.

I would say that I know more about myself now. And that’s good right? Bright sides, silver linings, and all.

But am I any less lost than before?

And two comes before one and the omega might not be the first but he is the last and the sun sets and the moon giggles and she thinks she has it all, and a cat mewls at home and a bat screeches though nobody can hear him.

But come morning, Helios chases his sister away, and the dog barks at the cat who stole his basket, but the haughty cat triumphs, and a car rushes by, and people talk on phones and- everything.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.