On Life

I want to talk.

I want to talk about the world, about you and me and we are free and we can do whatever we like; and whatever we want, and nothing else matters.

And perhaps that’s true.

The world is a curious construct: the ethical world, like any other, is a single one-dimensional scale is a constant struggle between your self on one end and what you perceive to be everything else on the other. With this then comes everything else. 

But it’s not really like that, is it, you ask. It’s identity versus society, it’s personality versus responsibility...the list goes on.

Well, I suppose none of that was wrong. 

But look again, and you’ll see that it’s transformed, and the question now is not whether you care about you more than you care about everything else. It is clear now that you are the center of this world and it’s a matter off which benefits you more.

We are selfish people.

We do not help others if we do not gain from it.

It’s not just a matter of physical and material gain. We’re talking ideology and satisfaction and egos here.

It’s all up to priorities, I suppose. Is personal philosophical satisfaction worth just this little bit of pain or money or time?

But when you’re lost, you don’t have a response to that. 

But perhaps, circularly, having a clear idea in your head your priorities is what gives you identity?

So I don’t know who I am, and I hope you do.

Do you, do you?

I want someone to tell me who I am.

No. Perhaps, I don’t just want to talk: 

I want to be heard.

Would you listen to me?

Boo what is life even?

Okay so this is quite fun to do when bored

http://ancientlives.org

Probably when you're really bored.

On Ferrets

Ferrets are the cutest things in the world I want a ferret.

Look look at all the different types of ferrets.

I want a ferret.

NAWWWWW LOOOOKKKK AT HIM HE'S SO CUTEEEEEEE :3333

Okay that's all for now.

On Horse Meat

Okay so I'm majorly freaking out about life what is life even what am I doing who am I aahhhhhhhh

Okay wait. Let's try that again.

I'm scared.

I'm scared. Yesterday someone at school had an interview at UCL.

Ummm obviously not me so.

Yeah you see where I'm trying to go with this? 

Haven't heard back from them aaahhhhhhhhh what is life.

Okay so maybe I'm overreacting slightly. It's still quite early, I suppose. But. You know. For all I know, they could have seen my application and chucked it in the maybe pile. 

I don't want to be in the maybe pile.

(I want to be in the yes definitely we want you now pile, in case anyone asks)

And what am I even applying for why am I applying for it.

Unis don't want me I'm a fraud I'm stupid I'm just pretending to be clever I'm not clever I can't brain :(

speech not making sense arrrghh garhhhh what is life.

Here's some horse.

On the Aeneid

Okay so Aeneas is an asshole.

I’m told this is an extremely feminist approach to reading Book 4 of the Aeneid, but hmmm I don’t agree.

Well, of course I don’t agree I’m iffy with the idea behind feminism so what would you expect?

It’s apparently unfair to call Aeneas out on his nastiness apparently, simply because he did ‘long...to soothe her and console her sorrow, to talk to her and take away her pain, with many a groan and with a heart shaken by his great love’!

Well, hun, thinking and doing are two completely different things.

Maybe you’d say what could he do about it he was bound by his sense of duty? I’ll roll my eyes and try not to scoff at you.

Like I said earlier today, he could have just been less of an asshole.

‘me si fata meis paterentur ducere uitam
auspiciis et sponte mea componere curas,
urbem Troianam primum dulcisque meorum
reliquias colerem, Priami tecta alta manerent,
et recidiua manu posuissem Pergama uictis.’

Ice cold.

Now you say okay whaaaat? Well, maybe my view makes more sense with context...

‘...ego te, quae plurima fando
enumerare uales, numquam, regina, negabo
promeritam, nec me meminisse pigebit Elissae        
dum memor ipse mei, dum spiritus hos regit artus.
pro re pauca loquar. neque ego hanc abscondere furto
speraui (ne finge) fugam, nec coniugis umquam
praetendi taedas aut haec in foedera ueni.’

Basically, ‘nah we’re not married.’ Okay so see he says that and then he says ‘yeah anyway if left to myself the Fates say I’d leave anyway’. I mean. Does he not like have a sense of decency? Surely that’s just a little harsh...? 

Aeneas is just a little arrogant bitch and his mum’s a bitch and it’s a brilliant thing the Trojans lost the war. And I really dislike them.

And like he runs away when he finds out she’s going to kill herself. Dude. She’s unstable and you’re leaving her to die? Get mummy to help or something. 

But oh. Of course you wouldn’t.

Little bitches. 

Now, I’m not saying he was completely in the wrong. Maybe Dido jumped to conclusions too. But somehow the reason people assume things is usually because people imply things. So you see, my disgust at Aeneas for shirking from this responsibility is pretty justified. Just man up and say you’re sorry. 

Wimp.

They’ve slept together, obviously. And he knows she had issues from her previous marriage. AND HE GOES AND DOES THIS ANYWAY. 

Aaaaaand pretty sure it was he who told her in Book 2 that Creusa said: 

‘illic res laetae regnumque et regia coniunx
parta tibi’

Sorry what wife what?

He’s totally responsible for Dido’s fall. Maybe not fully-totally (colloquially-totally) but at least partially which is totally not what he claims when he denies all responsibility okay this is making me angry I’m gonna stop.

Urghhh.